Father Having A Serious Talk With His Daughter
Our Face Is A Large Part Of Who We Are, So Stop Pointing A Negative Hurtful Finger At Someone Else’s:
Critical Mistake #2:
Pointing a finger in another person’s face is both demeaning and hurtful, Your teen is no exception. Yet somehow we as parents have given ourselves permission to use this type of communication. This type of behavior kills the spirit, destroys self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love in our teens. Merriam Webster Defines Finger Pointing as; the act of blaming someone for a problem instead of trying to fix or solve it. Imagine for a moment that you and your teen have reversed roles, and your parent is now waving his or her finger in your face. How does it feel? Do you feel happy and gleeful? Probably not. Maybe you’re mad? Or maybe you feel defeated? We can all probably agree that it would be, both painful and hurtful. Your teen feels the same as you do when you behave in this manner. They are powerless in the face of a parent, so most of us realize this scenario would never happen. Why? Our teens are afraid of the repercussions they might face. Blaming your youth only closes off the lines of communication, because they know that you have already passed judgement on them without hearing their story.
What Should You Do Instead?
Strategy #1 – Sit Down With Your Teen And Have An Open, Honest, Non-judgmental Conversation. Don’t forget to establish Some Rules:
Ex: No yelling, No Name Calling, No Rolling of Eyes, Sucking of Teeth, Finger Pointing or any other verbal or non-verbal language that may be demeaning to the other individual. Agree to mutually respect each other even though your view points may differ
Tip #1 – Set Reasonable Consequences That Are Age Appropriate and Fit The Behavior or Action You Are Reprimanding Your Teen For
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Overkill shatters your teen. Make sure the punishment is appropriate and fair for the behavior you are trying to correct. Try to keep in mind the age of your teen. They do not have the same level of maturation or decision making capabilities as an adult
“There is an old and very wise Native American saying: “Every time you point a finger in scorn—there are three remaining fingers pointing right back at you.”