Cheryl Ketchens
In this 4 part series I will identify the 4 critical mistakes every Overwhelmed, Tired, Frustrated, Sleep Deprived Parents, Single Parent, Foster Parent(s), Grand Parent(s), Educators and Administrators make when working with teens and youth
Mistake #4 – Not Having a Regularly Scheduled Family Dinner Time With Your Youth!
Whether your family is enjoying a breakfast or a dinner together, it’s essential that you dine together at least once daily or more if your schedules allow. Dinner time is my preferred time because it allows each family member the opportunity to share their day’s activities. You can think of it as debriefing time. Everyone should be allowed time to share. Parents, please try your best to listen to your teen. In other words don’t interrupt or abruptly cut them off with your stories about your childhood. Save that for another time. one family member should not monopolize all of your time together. This will defeat the purpose of the family coming together. Everyone has a voice and everyone deserves a chance to be heard.
Keep in mind this is the perfect time for you to learn ways in which to bond with your teen, and learn more about the activities they are engaged in during school hours, and who who they spend most of their free time with. Believe it or not some parents have no clue? Practice your listening skills and you just might be pleasantly surprised how much you can learn about your youth and how responsible and mature they actually are. This family time together is so important. Believe it or not your teen will begin to look forward to this time spent together as a family. Not sharing a regularly scheduled meal together is a critical mistake.
What Should You Do Instead?
- Set Regularly Scheduled Dinner Times – The key is consistency. Everyone will enjoy sharing meal times if they know they can count of them. Make it a part of your daily routine, just as you do bathing, combing and brushing your hair, your teeth, and other personal grooming. Missing meals together is not optional. In other words make it an integral part of your daily routine. Once your routine is set try not to deviate from it. As often as possible schedule your youth’s extra-curricular activities around dinner time, and not at dinner time. Everyone will be happier and they will begin looking forward to family meal times when they know they can count on them.
Conclusion – Critical Mistake #4 – Not Having A Regularly Scheduled Family Dinner Time – Dr Anne Fishel, Ph.D Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, Co-founder of The Family Dinner Project said: “Studies show there are scientific benefits associated with family meal times. Over the past 15 years researchers have confirmed what parents have known for a long time: sharing a family meal is good for the spirit, the brain and the health of all family members. Recent studies link regular family dinners with many behaviors that parents pray for: lower rates of substance abuse, teen pregnancy and depression, as well as higher grade-point averages and self-esteem. Studies also indicate that dinner conversation is a more potent vocabulary-booster than reading, and the stories told around the kitchen table help our children build resilience. The icing on the cake is that regular family meals also lower the rates of obesity and eating disorders in children and adolescents.”
Dr. Fishel also states : “Researchers find that families who eat together five nights a week reap great benefits, but there is no magic number, or is dinner inherently preferable to other meals. If your family finds breakfast or weekend lunches easier meals for gathering, then these could also count.”
My family enjoyed regular meal times together. We most liked Sunday Brunches. We have a lot of great memories associated with our coming together as a family for those regular meal times. Make it a routine and I promise you will not regret it. The only regret you may have is not starting it sooner. Spending time together as a family is essential to the health and well-being of the entire family. Don’t waste another day not that you know there are scientific benefits to support dining with your loved ones. It’s a lot less expensive than paying for a therapist and you will definitely have a lot more fun!